14 September, 2011

Backslide and absence

I haven't posted in a long time due to the fact that I did indeed get sick after that last post.  And by the time I was feeling better, my life went to hell.  My daughter's sixth birthday was March 22.  We had a party that weekend at Chuck E Cheese.  I was still being good and trying to diet at the time.  But my mom was getting weaker from the chemotherapy she was taking.  And the Chemo wasn't working.  So they took her off of it, and decided to give her a three week break to recover her strength. By April 1st you could see new tumors popping up through her skin.  By April 7th she was bedridden.  On April 10 I came home from work and she didn't know who I was.  April 12 She went into Hospice.  She died April 14.

  My daughter began having nightmares every night.  Her she had always had attention problems, but she spun out of control.  She was angry and depressed.  I put in at work for a Leave of Absence to care for my daughter's mental health and to cope with the death in the family.  The personnel manager said she had the paperwork printed and waiting.  It wasn't.  The Store Manager said they would mail the LOA packet, and to take all the time I needed.  Instead of a LOA packet, I got a termination notice.  I was fired days after my mother died and my daughter had a mental breakdown.

  So I get my daughter into therapy, and she is diagnosed ADHD.  She has started the first grade now and is doing better so far.  The medication she is on has also had the great effect of making her less obsessed with eating.  She lost 6lbs the first month, and 2 1/2 the next two weeks.  She is still heavy, but is doing much better.

 My step-father on the other hand has retreated to his room, and is clearly drinking.  Between caring for my two kids, trying to keep the house clean, and cooking meals for everyone I am a busy woman.  With a lot of stress.  I have to clean out the horded belongings of my mom while I am at it.  Because of everything that is going on I have been having trouble with my Fibromyalgia.  I have also had numerous mini- menieres episodes.  As of my 31st birthday I have also been struggling with my own depression.

All this has taken its tole with a huge weight gain.  I have ballooned up to 295lbs.  It is fluctuating.  I lost 9lbs in a week when I was sweating a lot and doing a lot of housework.  Then I start my period and gain it all back.